Baby Got….Teeth?

26 Feb

Bitch of the Day:

I’m not sure, but Lil’ Man might be teething. The reason I’m not entirely sure is because I’ve never really had to deal with the typical teething baby. My other two kids cut teeth with no problems at all. I never knew they were about to sprout teeth until the pearly whites just emerged one day. I’m not bragging. I always considered myself one of the lucky moms that just never had to deal with that headache. Especially after hearing all the horror stories from my other mom friends. I have had more than my fair share of headaches in other areas to make up for it, trust me. Remember, I have the “painter.”

I’ve come to the theory that he’s teething because he has not been himself all week. My usual cherubic baby is one big ball of fuss. He’s not complacent any longer to just sit and play. He wants to be held all the time or eating. I know that last part is shocking considering his girth. But even when he’s eating, he gripes. I’ve just about decided to stop feeding him baby food altogether as he spits it all over himself, me and the floor. As delicious as it sounds, apple and carrot puree is not what I care to partake of for an afternoon snack. His aim is pretty good; he’s hit me in the eye on more than one occasion. Today, he actually smeared formula all over my face. Try smelling that all morning long. He’s also taken to biting me. I’m sure he will succeed in ripping one of my shirts here soon the way he bites down on them and thrashes his head back and forth. And nap time? Forget about it. While he once slept for an hour and a half to three glorious hours, now I’m lucky if I get thirty minutes of downtime. It’s exhausting.

None of this would be as bad – I’m only assuming because again, never went through teething before – if I didn’t have two other kids who haven’t been on their best behavior either. Holding Lil’ Man while trying to fix the girl’s hair is not a skill I was born with. Add in the oldest asking for a snack every 5.6 seconds while needing his behind wiped and you have insight into how my week has been. I truly need eight arms these days. And an adult beverage for each one of them. Someone needs to make Michelle Duggar a Saint because I have no damn clue how she does it without medication, alcohol or a padded room.

If anyone reads this and has any recommendations for easing Lil’ Man through this process, please comment below. This inquiring mind wants to know. Infant pain reliever ain’t cuttin’ it. Teething rings are out, too. He doesn’t like the cold. I’m still pissed they took those teething tablets off the shelf. It’s not my fault some retard parent almost OD’d their kid on them. I can READ. You’d have to give the kid a shitload of those tablets to make them sick so if someone managed to OD their kid, they’re a mouth-breathing idiot who shouldn’t have had kids in the first place. And that’s all I have to say about that.

And now for TMI. I’m probably not coping as well with all this because I’ve seen signs that someone is coming to town. I haven’t had this particular visitor since August 2009. Again, I’m not bragging. Since September 2009, I was either pregnant or nursing. You don’t envy me. I never know after each pregnancy how my hormones have changed and how that will impact the impending visit. This time around it appears I will be singin’ the blues. I have been on the verge of tears all day for absolutely no reason at all. Nothing bad has happened, the hubby and I are getting along great, the kids were the kids – no worse than other days. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why I am so down until I remembered other signs I had seen the last couple of days. Excited, I am not, about having the visitor back in my life after going such a long time without it. But, I’d prefer it to go ahead and get here than me being a big crybaby for no apparent reason. I’d like to think I haven’t been as depressed here lately as I was in months past and I really don’t want to return to that place. It’s dark and lonely there and makes me want to eat oreos. Lots and lots of oreos. My ass does not need oreos.

Bitchin’ Moment of the Day:

One really good thing that happened today, happened in a place most women hate. In the bathroom, on the scale. Since having Lil’ Man I have lost 47 pounds. I am a few ounces away from being the weight I was before getting pregnant with my oldest. I never thought I would get close to that weight again. After all the problems I had following my first pregnancy and all the weight I gained because of that, it just seemed impossible. I did manage to lose some of the weight using NutriSystem before getting pregnant with the girl, but I still wasn’t close to the weight I am now and it was way expensive. I couldn’t do that again due to the cost. This time around, I did try to watch what I eat. Not a diet per se since I was nursing, but just using common sense. I’m sure running around chasing three monkeys didn’t hurt, either. I believe the main reason I’ve lost so much this time is due to the fact I finally had a good nurser. He came out nursing well whereas the other two never seemed to catch on (which explains why he is so fat and they were skinny.) He used up all my extra calories so the weight came off easier. I do worry a bit now that I’ve stopped nursing that the weight loss will stop or worse, start packing back on. But it’s been over a month and it’s still coming off. I still have a little weight I want to lose. We’ll see. If my ass ever gets back in a size 7, I’ll be the happiest bitch you ever did meet.

Later Bitches!


2 Responses to “Baby Got….Teeth?”

  1. Heather February 27, 2011 at 12:46 am #

    They took the teething tabs away?? I went to walgreens and thought i saw some… or saw something for baby’s teething.Oh,if your going to eat oreos, try the peanut butter filled oreos. Mmmmmm

    • bitchinmommy February 27, 2011 at 9:29 am #

      They took Hyland’s Teething tabs off the market a while back. I’m sure if they have been put back out, they aren’t the same. :/ And as for those oreos, first: peanut butter = blecht! Second: My ass ain’t going to get in my 7’s eating oreo anything. Oreo BAD! 7’s GOOD!

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