To Bitch or Not to Bitch

29 Mar

Bitch of the Day:

I could sit here all day and bitch about this, that and the other. I certainly have enough material to do so. My heart just isn’t in it, though. Bitching about life’s little annoyances and monotony seems a bit petty when compared to what others are going through. This past week or so has been riddled with a lot of upsetting news or sad memories involving children. Like most of you, when something tragic involves a child, I take it way more to heart since I’ve had my own children. I’m not going to go into any of it on here because I’m emotional enough for all you bitches. There’s no need to drag you down to my level.

So screw it. We’re skipping it this time. I’m going to pull rainbows and sunshine out of my ass if I must to make this a happy post.

Bitchin’ Moment of the Day:

All of these events did not happen in one day, obviously (otherwise that would have been one badass day.) This is a conglomeration of moments from the last week that were particularly awesome:

1. I mentioned a while back about reaching a certain weight that would make me a happy bitch, indeed. Not only did I meet that goal, but I’ve gone below it. I wanted to maintain it for a few weeks before saying anything for fear of jinxing it. Like announcing it would cause the voodoo priestess of all-that-is-fat to put a hex on my ass. I’m a superstitious bitch, sometimes.

I feel great about myself for the first time in years. Now that my body has returned, somewhat, to how it was before having children, I am not as self-conscious. It’s liberating in the way that it’s once less thing hanging over my head. I have enough crap to worry about; my thunder thighs shouldn’t be one of them.

2. Because of the weight loss, I wasn’t left with a whole lot in the way of clothes. Lucky for me, the hubby’s fashionista aunt decided to clean out her spring/summer clothes from last year that she could no longer wear and voila! I have an entire closet full of new-to-me clothes. I have emptied my closet of all the things I can’t wear anymore and have arranged to give them to someone else who can use them. I’m elated that I didn’t have to spend money I don’t have on clothes and that I am also able to help someone else out. Reduce, reuse, recycle folks. Also: Free shit rocks.

3. Break out the wine because here comes the cheese. Last weekend, as I was attempting to weed eat the overgrowth in my backyard, the damn weed eater died on me. I stormed to the front yard where the hubby was mowing and proceeded to curse and fume and plot the destruction of said weed eater. On the way back through the backyard to toss the stupid thing in the shed, I happened to look over where I had actually cut some of the grass before it died because something caught my eye. I thought it was a rat at first. Upon closer inspection, it was a tiny, baby bunny. Can I get a collective, “AWWWWWWW!!!!”

This was on up there on the list of cutest things I have ever seen with my own eyes. I quickly realized this poor thing was stone-still in the spot I had just severely decimated with a weed eater. Oh shit. I killed it. I swear, tears were already forming – I am that girl. I rushed up to it and it still did not move. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I picked it up and it finally made an attempt to move. Whew!!! I just stood there looking into its little face, petting its silky fur and repeating over and over in my head that there’s absolutely no way I could keep this thing. Nope. No way. Not gonna happen. Well, it wouldn’t…NO! But the kids….HELL NO! I have a crat…..I will smack the shit out of you.

After talking to myself for quite a while, I took it up front for the husband to ohhhh and ahhhh over. He’s as big a sucker as I am. We decided to take it in for the kids to see and pet. They, of course, went absolutely gaga over it. The girl kept trying to poke it in the eye for some reason. The boy said it could sleep in his bed. Ok, time to put it back outside. There was a mild tantrum over not being able to keep it but I’m still happy I let them see it. The hubby and I set the little bunny down in the yard and tried to coerce it into hopping away. For a minute it refused to move. See, it wants to stay here. It likes it here. It’s the least you can do after scaring it half to the death…SHUDDUP!!!!! It finally took a test hop and, after realizing we weren’t going to come after it, took off like a shot into the woods. Cutest. Thing. Ever.

4. After a long period of not being able to, I finally got to spend time with family and friends the last couple of weekends.

I’ve had a couple of friends come down from out-of-state and had a blast spending time with them. It was nice spending time with people I feel so comfortable with. That makes for a very relaxing and fun time. The “Hand Grenade” probably helped a little, too.

One friend that came in for a visit is very preggo. I hadn’t seen her since she first found out she was expecting. I finally got to see her baby bump (so cute) and give her some of my old baby gear while she was here. Again: Reduce, reuse, recycle.

I also had the opportunity to go out with a few of the cousins to celebrate an upcoming wedding which was so much fun. It was at a total dive but we wound up drinking for free the whole night. Again: Free shit rocks! Also, it’s not a party until someone projectile vomits on the front, glass doors of the establishment – especially when you realize the person who did was part of your table. It was hilari-ralph! Maybe too much free shit can be a bad thing. Nah.

Lastly, I got to go to the wedding and see lots of our family that we haven’t seen since the funeral earlier this year. It was a beautiful occasion and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I am so happy for the couple and wish them all the best throughout the years.

I wish we were all able to get together more often. I’m like an addict when it comes to spending time with friends and family. I get one taste and I instantly crave more. I guess there are worse things to be addicted to. You don’t see too many women pulling tricks to finance a trip to see Grandma. I readily admit that my children are probably the reason I desire so much time with other adults. After spending much of the day pondering how it is I have snot on my shoulder once again, is it any wonder? I wouldn’t trade them for anything, though. Snot or not, I am very thankful for every moment I have with them. No matter how crazy they make me, at least they are there, happy and healthy.

Later Bitches!


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